


Falling to Pieces

by freesha



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Abandonment, Chapter 4 stops all the timeskips though, First Kiss, M/M, Minor Character Death, More Timeskips than anything, Mutual Pining, Mymble is a Good Mom, Rating is subject to change, Snusmumriken | Snufkin Has Paws and a Tail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19221061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freesha/pseuds/freesha
Summary: Winter was about to come, and it really seemed as if it were any other winter where Snufkin leaves and comes back during the spring.  But, unfortunately, Moomin comes to realize that it isn't going to be like that this winter.on hiatus until further notice.





	1. It Took Me By Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire fic is based off the SheWolf Animatic by Burapicchi  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrBNfiNPpZ4

It was a chilly autumn afternoon, not at all anything too cold. Snufkin was propped by the riverside, a fishing pole in hand as he worked his lines to catch some fish. The currents were just right today, so he took the opportunity for granted as he already had five fish and it had been less than an hour. Today was just the day to get a lucky catch, he supposed. His legs were crossed in front of him, as he swung the tool back to reel in yet another fish.

Oh, Makes it six.

He was so focused on his angling that he didn't hear the grass behind him that made a rustling pounding noise. Implying someone was making footsteps in them. So Snufkin put the fish in the bucket and waited as he drew his line again.

"Snufkin!!" An excited voice called from behind Snufkin, the voice only belonged to Moomintroll.

"Greetings, Moomin." He smiled under his hat as he stared out into the water. In the reflection, he could see that Moomin sat next to him and was now looking outwards in front of him. He didn't investigate, as he simply let Moomin do what he wanted.

"How are you? What are you catching?"

Snufkin moved his hat up to where he could actually look at Moomin that wasn't in the reflection, glaring at the other with a small happy smile as he let his eyes glance over to Moomin. Moomin was simply looking out into the water.

"I'm doing okay, I've caught six fish as of now." His eyes now glanced back out into the river water, as he felt his line tug. "Might be seven"

"The river must have a lot of fish today, huh Snufkin?"

"Sure does."

Things were now silent again, as the two sat and watched Snufkin fish. He kept drawing in his line. By the time Moomin piped up again, he had nine fish.

"It's going to start snowing any day now."

Oh goodness, he could tell where this conversation would lead to. Moomin should understand by now that he cannot come along with Snufkin on his journey south, but stay in Moominvalley and hibernate. Just as Snufkin cannot hibernate here, he is barely adapt to it and would most likely wake up very early.

"Yes, and once the first flakes hit the ground I must set off."

"But do you have to?" Moomin piped up for a desperate plea, or at least, he tried to not let that bleed through his tone too much.

Snufkin sighed and sat up fully as he started wrapping up his fishing supplies. Before looking over at Moomin to see a desperate look, paws enclosed around the other's chest where the heart would be. Snufkin couldn't stay, he had to leave to explore. His nature called for him, and due time was approaching.

And, some things had been happening recently, he needed to get away.

"I must, Moomin, just as much as you need to hibernate, I need to travel." He closed the bucket.

"But why can't you hibernate with me?" Moomin stood up as Snufkin held the bucket full of fish in one hand and the pole in another. He stood, looked down and sighed.

"I have to go, I have to travel, my nature calls me."

"But you'll be back in the Spring as always!" Moomin smiled, as he now bounced. Snufkin lifted his head to look ahead as he walked to his tent, Moomin followed with a stride in his step.

"Maybe, maybe not," Snufkin said quietly

Moomin pretty much always translated this statement to "he'll be back before spring".  Which he had every right to think, for the past decade he has always come back to Moominvalley.  So what was there to doubt?  Snufkin loved him too much to ever abandon him for a long time.

Or, he hoped so.

 

 

~

 

 

It was the day where Snufkin was set to leave, Moomin was outside with Moominpapa to help him lock and close everything up, and move anything that was outside inside of the house and wrapped in plastic to prevent any damage to happen to the furniture.  Making small chatter, as people came in and out of the house, Including Snufkin for a final small meal and collecting other things from Moominmamma.

But Moomin was outside, and while he was helping his Papa.  he had told him that he would run over to Snufkin if he were to leave today. That hasn't happened yet, so he simply listened to Moominpapa and made small conversation and occasional questions.

"Should this be wrapped with plastic?" He held up a worn out white gown, it was in very nice condition.  But it was simply folded and not contained, so he lifted the trinket to let the other inspect it.  He was slightly stunned when Papa softly grabbed it out of his hands and let it softly undrape from its fold.  Revealing a Moomin-sized beautiful gown.  It seemed like it would touch the ground.

"Oh, I'll have to ask Moominmamma. It is hers, after all." He smiled at the gown.  Admiring its intricate designs.

Moomin pipes in, as he proceeds to just watch his father admire the gown. "What occasion was that for? It's very beautiful."

"Oh Moomintroll," He sighed, as he smiled. "This is your mother's wedding dress when she and I got married so many years ago.  She looked so beautiful in it, the day was truly magical and unforgettable." He kept on. "There's also another part to this dress, but goodness knows where the veil is at."

"Moomintroll, hold on while I ask Moominmamma on what to do with this." He proceeds to fold it onto one arm and speedwalk to the house entrance. He watches Moominpapa and sees that Snufkin has left the house and waves at Papa.  Strangely, he doesn't have his hat on, but his bagging suggests that he is 100% ready to go. Of course, because he saw this, he follows Snufkin to the bridge in a sprint run.

Hearing his soft breath in the wind as he let his body carry him over to Snufkin, as he drew closer.  It seems that Snufkin was turned around and now waiting for him.  Standing still as he patiently waited with that same soft smile that he always wore.  Comforting Moomin and bringing happiness.

The sun was setting, which lit both of their silhouettes as Moomin now stood in front of Snufkin panting.  Trying to catch his breath as he crouched down, before finally getting the air to a normal level and looking at Snufkin.  The angel of Moominvalley, he called him in his head.

"I guess this is it, no turning back." Moomin said matter-of-fact, to which Snufkin nodded. "I'm assuming any attempt to get you to stay isn't going to work." Moomin said jokingly, with a little bit a playful and hopelessness in his voice.

He now remembered that his hat was gone, and he asked him about it. "Where is your hat, Snufkin?"

Snufkin seemed as if he was beaming, the red thicket of hair that was beautifully messy wove around the others head like an intricate design gave Snufkin an adorable yet handsome look. "It's in my bag."

"Ah okay." Moomin sat still for a second, not really knowing what to say, the silence wasn't at the least uncomfortable. It was rather enjoyable. "Well, I hope you have a fun adven---"

Moomin was abruptly interrupted when Snufkins paws grasp Moomins soft white paws.  He finally looked at each other in the eyes, a blue beautiful sky meeting a dark wooded thicket. Moomin was stunned as Snufkin looked at him with such intent and care that it almost made him fall in love all over again over the angel that seemed to take over every corner of his thoughts.

"Moomin, I will miss you greatly, I hope you know that it hurts me very much to leave you here." He seemed to be unsure of his words, but not because of the confession itself, but because he wasn't experienced in the whole 'verbal' area of affection.  And although Snufkin fell silent, Moomin knew the message he was trying to convey as if it was telepathically sent through his veins when Snufkins and Moomins paws interjoined. Like two puzzle pieces, they felt seeming perfectly in the hands of each other.

Snufkin, at this point, closed his eyes.  Feeling the warm embrace of Moomin as a sort of goodbye comfort.  Moomin did the same, closing his eyes to find something inside his mind.  He could swear that Snufkin was almost a magical god, a being of an ability to control one's mind in such a loving way that he couldn't refuse.  Of course, he couldn't ever help but fall in love as usual.

Of course, casually falling out and in love with your best friend.  Normal.

At this point, he thinks of the many moments they shared this winter, as he swore he could feel a soft blanket of snow start to build on their paws. Their distance, he could've _sworn_ , gotten closer. But that was all on feeling, and he re-evaluated.  All the times where both of them would lie in flowers and look at the clouds on a warm spring day, where the sun would softly glaze their skin and fur.  All the times where Moomin would sneak out of the house and explore forbidden places, and go on midnight dives in the ocean. All the times where they roleplayed with their friends, where Snufkin and Moomin would end up getting paired up together in the story and having to work together.  All the times where they shared sweet nothings, and affections with each other when no one was around.  Even Moomin accidentally "bumping" Snufkins cute nose as in an attempt to hide the fact that he practically kissed him.

By the time that he opened his eyes, seemingly on cue, Snufkin did too. Looking at each other in the eyes as snow now buried them in a thin layer. The perfect sunset, on the perfect bridge, and the perfect time... the only thing that was wrong was the fact that Snufkin was leaving so soon.  But now wasn't the time to worry, with the two close as ever as the sun softly basked the two.

But it all faded, and everything seemed to disappear when Snufkin pressed his lips against Moomins snout in a perfect kiss.  Sending Moomins eyes expanded and his face shocked.  Before dissolving into a fever of giggles.

"There you go, my happy Moomee." He smiled, looking as if he could almost cry.  As he softly let go of Moomin, shaking off the snow from his hands, as he lets the hands now rest on the straps of his bag.  Staring at Moomin again, as he looked back.  

"I have to go now, Goodbye Moomin." He turns around, to walk away.  Leaving a stunned Moomin that was just giggling moments ago now sad.  He would continue to stare out at the other silently until he couldn't see him, with only the soft whistle of the breeze.  That is if Snufkin hadn't turned around one final time.

"I love you."

And he was gone as fast as he said that statement, in a cloud of snow.  Never to return again, but always in his heart.

 

 

~

 

 

"Thank you for dinner Moominmama, have a nice hibernation, I love you."

It was now late, he was full of food from the feast, and he carried his box of belongings from downstairs that he would carry upstairs.  Having his family members their final goodbye as he was going to hibernate.  Of course, he had to walk up each flight of stairs in the house.  After getting into his room, he handled the box with care as he put the box on his bed, and started putting different knicks and knabs into the box. First from his nightstand, then he would traverse around the room to look for other small things he could pack in the box.

Once he had gotten everything from his nightstand, he turned to a small table in the corner of his room.  But instead of a whole bunch of toys, or carvings that he liked to do in his free time, there was a hat.

Snufkins hat.

"His hat!!"

He practically dashed over, he said he had it in his bag!?  He was now worried that Snufkin had actually forgotten his most prized clothing item, but once he actually thought about it, Snufkin would've definitely remembered his hat.  So he picked it up, unaware that a piece of paper was on it, so it softly fluttered to the floor.  Only when the paper tapped Moomins foot is when he looked down. 

"Oh, a note." He crouched down and picked it up, and what it said... left his brain swirling.

He... couldn't believe it. He proceeded to pack everything else up but with much less enthusiasm.  And once he finally got snuggled in his bed, with his nuzzle pressed against the hat, smelling the scent as if it were an addiction.  

The note would _refuse_ to leave his mind.

 

> _Dear Moomin,_
> 
> _I might not return due to unforeseen reasons that I cannot explain._
> 
> _Loving and missing you,_
> 
> _Snufkin._

 


	2. Total Exhaustion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I didn't expect such the positive feedback!  
> I may not reply to comments, simply because I don't know what to say. But I absolutely appreciate every single one!! You can also scream about this fic at my Tumblr: @itsfreesha

It was Spring.

A warm glow shone through the window, at least, what could shine through the curtains that Moomin had put up right before hibernation.  But now, the little bit of sunlight shone through the threads of the curtain.  Snow melting outside and the birds chirping, a beautiful atmosphere that was waiting for Moomin to happily jump around in.  But he barely had the emotional energy, He knew that he had slept in a couple of days.  

It was all because of that note.  He knew it, it haunted his mind.  He had stayed up for nights just crying, or pondering what he had done to drive him away.  It was intoxicating, the way that the other could affect him so severely even though he wasn't here.  Hat still in his paws, as the scent had slowly started to fade (he wished it didn't) of sandalwood and fire.  He couldn't find a single reason or idea that Snufkin would abandon him like this, especially what he did.

He could still feel those paws holding his in a gentle embrace many months later, he could still feel the place where those lips kissed his snout like a tattoo of lost love.  He was already yearning for him back, he would run all across Moominland to see if Snufkin was okay.  He felt like he soured all the way to space. Usually, during winter all he thought about was Snufkin, but even this was excessive.  Usually, he would somehow think of something else, but now?  Moomin was quite literally thinking of him all the time. Missing him and loving him, just as the note said that Snufkin felt to him.

He left like he was invisibly secured to his bed, his emotions refused to let him go and think of anything else.  He was trapped, even after months.  He couldn't think about the tasty aroma of pancakes cooking in the kitchen, he couldn't think about the green nature and the flowers that bloomed outside under all the melting snow.  He could barely think about how pleasantly warm this March morning was.  He couldn't

The only thing that could ever disturb him from his pity party was Little My storming into his room, making a ruckus.

"Moomin!! Wake up!!" She practically shouted, or at least, its what it felt like the Moomin after being awake in silence all morning.  He made a small unintelligible sound before sitting up, his eyes droopy and tired.  Bags under his eyes and having to blink a couple of times to make out the picture of Little My.

"Hnng... 'M already awake, Little My." Of course, it didn't seem that way... kind of.  He both looked completely tired and that light sensation you get when you first wake up from hibernation.  But of course, that would always go away with the sound of a harmonica.  But there was no harmonica to be heard this year.

"it doesn't seem like it, you're all tired!" She said with energy to her voice. "Well, wake up! Momma made pancakes and you know that once Sniff wakes up, they'll all be gone."

Little My was right, so he let his feet swing over to the side of the bed as he slowly got used to his surroundings again. Blinking a couple more times, before grabbing the hat absent-mindedly and put it on his head.  Little My saw and piped up in her usual snarky tone. "Awee, did he give you that?" 

"Yes, Little My, along with a note." He stood up and grabbed the folded note off the nightstand, it now had a horizontal crease that showed it was folded all winter.  

"Ooh!! What does it say, is it him declaring is neverending love for you~?" She teased, with a tint of playfulness in her voice.  Now following Moomin as he left his room, and going downstairs.

"No, it's not _that_ , it just states that he might be late." He held the hat close, as he continued going downstairs. 

Little My seemed almost shocked at that. Even though she can be cruel to her step-brother, she still cared about him deeply. "Did he specify how long?"

"No, unfortunately." He sighed sadly. He let his eyes look over at Little My, even she seemed upset. "And knowing him, he could be gone for awhile."

"Ah... I'll have to tell my sister, then she will most likely tell Mymblemomma and Joxter." Little My said and then went on. "And even if you like, I'll ask if they could tell us if they see Snufkin."

Moomin sighed in relief, it's nice to know that the little gremlin actually cared about her step-brother every once in a while. 

Once the two of them got downstairs, Little My went off into another room to do who-knows-what. Meanwhile, Moomin went straight into the kitchen to where he knew Moominmama would be. And there she was, holding a pan and making another batch of pancakes. He slowly approached, as he looked around the room. And almost felt unfamiliar, but yet he lived in this very place. Eventually, he was right next to Moomin Mama. Watching her cook the pancakes.

"Momma?" Moomin said in a soft a tone, the witch Moomin Mama looked over at him for a second, to indicate that he had her attention. "Yes? What is it?" She then turned her head back, to continue cooking. But Moomin knew that she was listening to him.

"I want to show you and Papa something when you are done, its important."

"Oh dear, what is it?" Of course, Moominmamma had noticed the hat that sat on the sons head, then she had noticed that Snufkin hadn't arrived yet. But she was always reasonable, and she was willing to help a Moomin eases anxieties if needed. What she didn't realize, was that Moomin was coming to inform her that... The note was much more.

"I want to show both you and papa, at the same time." He said, anxiety tinting in his voice.

Moominmamma sighed, and she looked over at him. Giving a shoulder Pat to him, before turning again to finish the last batch. "Alright, let me finish up and then me and papa will have a look."

"Thank you, mama." He said respectfully, before leaving the room to go sit on a bench, then he proceeded to open the note and read it again.  One final checker if this was all just some sick dream.

Nope, it was still the same message.

Moomin wanted to cry, why did Snufkin have to leave him? What did he ever do? Did he do something wrong? These thoughts proceeded to invade his head once again like they did this morning, and when he first initially looked at the note back in November. He was about to cry, if it weren't for some chatter in the background distracting him.  A nasally voice was talking as the front door opened, Sniff was here.

He still sat, buddy forced himself to make himself appear happy. He looked over at sniff, to which he looked over at him. And he gave him a smile, before standing up and giving each other a hug. Moomin really needed this right now, especially the current situation he was in. He held onto the hug for a while, before parting.

"How was your hibernation?" Sniff asked curiously, to which Moomin appropriately answered with "it was okay."

Sniff then saw the hat on Moomin and asked. "Is Snufkin back yet?".  Moomin simply answered with the head shape, implying that he was not here yet. "No, he just left me his hat for the winter." He lied.

He knew exactly why the other had left the hat, but he didn't tell anyone. He wouldn't tell anyone the truth until Moominmamma and Moominpapa knew.

Chatter was slowly starting to gradually build up in the house is more people went in and out. Sniff said goodbye, as he went over to the kitchen to go see what was cooking. Meanwhile, Moomin set back down on the bench. And waited for his mother to show up.  Not like he had anyone else to wait for this time.

"Moomin!" He could hear his mama call from the other room, so he stands up and goes to her. When he enters the room, which was the kitchen, he saw Moomin Papa and Moomin Mama looking at him. Seemingly concerned.

"Hey Moomin, why do you have Snuf's hat?" Moominpapa said, to which Moomin simply extended the note to the couple. Moominmamma finally took it into her hands, and Moomin Papa leaned over to look at the note. They both read it, and they both look at Moomin at the same time. Seemingly pitiful.

"I don't know why he left the hat... and why he's leaving forever." Moomin could already feel the tears start to swell up in his eyes again. Moominmamma went forward to go and hug him, then Moominpapa followed us doing the same thing. They both comforted their son. 

"Let it out, it's okay, we're here." 

And Moomin practically down poured, his tears might have sustained every part of their white fur if he could. It feels like he sat there for hours just sobbing and weeping over his loss of his best friend... or lover.

It was right then, it was what he needed the entire winter. Even though his best friend was gone, he needed that Embrace from his parents. He _needed_ it.

 

 

~

 

 

Later that evening, the Mymble family join them for their late breakfast feast. By this time, most guests had left and gone back home to celebrate spring. So the Moomin family was simply watching a movie on their small television.  This time, Mymble only brought their oldest daughter and their husband Joxter. At first, they seemed relatively calm through the door. greeting Sniff and their family before going into the living room to find the trio watching a movie.

"Little my told me what had happened, so we came as soon as we could." A voice piped up, and The trio turned around to see the Mymble and their family in the doorway. Papa happily smiling to see Joxter, as he approached him to chat.  Meanwhile, Moominmamma and Moomin went over to Mymble and their daughter. 

"Oh, Mymble, it's so good to see you again.  Happy spring."  She brought her into a hug, as both the daughter and son watched the both hug only for a couple of seconds.  "Something has happened, quite particular, with your son."

As soon as she broke the hug, She immediately saw the hat on top of his head. "He even left his hat... oh goodness even for him this is particular." The Mymble seemed to be so full of worry, and this woman was known for usually not worrying about their children and letting them set off.  So they both knew that this was especially unnatural for the Mumrik they both came to know and love. 

Moominmamma looked over at Moomin, then asked. "How does she know?"

"I told Little My when I woke up, and she offered to go tell her family, so she did... apparently."

"Indeed she did. In a panic, too." Mymble piped up, before starting to move over to a chair. "Do you have the note?"  

"Moomin has it" And as if on silent cue, Moomin pulled the note out and unfolded it.  The paper slightly yellow and the crease still there as he gave the sad note over to Snufkins mother.  She took it out of Moomins hands and read it carefully.

"Might not return?" Mymble said softly.

"Supposedly, and Moomin is worried that it might be forever," Moominmamma said as she drew Moomin close.  Mymble then let out a sigh, as she then called Joxter over to the little huddle.  After a couple of seconds, the Mumrik came over along with Moominpapa.

"Joxter, dear, is it normal Mumrik behavior to abandon loved ones with practically no warning?" He handed the note over to Joxter, to provide context for the other. He read over it, before sighing and giving it back to the Mymble. Joxter then sat down on the Mymbles lap and hummed for a second as he thought. Before giving his answer.

"Mumriks don't usually verbally say it, so it was lucky that Moomin got a note at all.  But usually, if they plan on leaving a place permanently then they're usually overly affectionate, may usually express their final condel--- conde..?"

"Condolences?" Mymble offered. She knew her husband wasn't exactly the most literate.  "Yeah, that.  They may usually take trinkets, or even do final confessions for love if they have it. They will also give personal belongings to people they especially love.

Moomin seemed shocked. as he let one of his snowy paws grip the edge of the hat.  Flattered.

Joxter looked at Moomintroll. "So... he must care about 'ya a whole lot if he gave you his hat. He was always so protective of it."

Everyone looked at Moomin, and the little troll finally spoke up. "I..." He took a breath. "Snufkin... right as he left, it was right when you walked in to show Mama the dress, Papa" He looked at Moominpapa for a second before turning back.

"... We held hands and he... confessed his love for me." He felt tears swell up. Mama hugged him tightly, he couldn't ever forget that magical moment if he tried.  Mama comforted him for a second, before letting him go. Moomin looked for everyone's reactions.

Mymble was sadly surprised, Joxter seemed only slightly shocked, Mymbles Daughter was startled, and Mamma and Papa were both a mix of proud and sad.

"Awe... I bet it was romantic, Moomintroll." Mymble stared at him, and grasps his paws with her bare human-like hands.

"Look at me." 

Moomin did so and looked at her.

"I promise with my _entire_ being that I will help find your boyfriend."


	3. Jet Black Blues

He had never found him.

It had been years and all he wants to curl up and die. They had been so important, but they were now gone too. They helped with his giant scour to look for his friend.  They helped him through the harshest of times, they would give him hugs, give him affection when he needed it. They would pack his lunches, look after him when he needed it. Always was the guidance for when he was alone.

And he was now standing over their open casket, Moominpapa had died a little bit before, but Moominmamma was nowhere. Died of the same fate. Old age finally caught up to them, and it left in their ultimate demise. And now that Moominmamma was dead, here Moomin was, hovering over her open casket. Staring down at the lifeless beautiful body. 

The cold November afternoon gave a breeze, as he felt goosebumps under his dark coat and fur. He couldn't help the tears start to swell in his eyes just by looking at his dead mother. He didn't want her to go, she meant so much to him. And now she was going to leave him here. All by himself?

He could barely take it.

It was at this moment when Snorkmaiden came behind him and rested a hand over his shoulder. She was the only one he had now, all the rest of the clothes family was gone. He considered smart made in a practical sister, yet something more... But he couldn't help it.

He turned to her and completely collapsed in her arms. Crying his eyes out as if they were waterfalls, the heavyweight that could not be lifted. No matter how much he cried, no matter how much he begged for them to come back. He knew it would never ever happen, and he would forever know that his old best friend, and now his family, were gone.

The part that always shocked him was the fact that Snorkmaiden was always so gentle, he would be sobbing in her arms, like right now. And she would still find a way to weave words into a skull to soothe him. She was like Moominmamma, yet somehow more beautiful. And he could think of her that way because there were no restrictions. 

He never knew if he truly loved her, but that barely mattered right now. What mainly consumed is so at the current moment was the Heartbreak and tragedy that filled him. Feeling so broken and empty, unable to think of anything else other than his lost mother. It almost reminded him of that one spring he had many years ago where he first lost his best friend. His lover.

After sitting there for a while, crying into the Snorkmaidens shoulder, he finally let go and turned around. Looking out at the other people that seem to be making small chowder at the funeral. There were a couple of people here, it wasn't a big funeral, the Mymbles family was there and so was most of Moomin Valley population. With the exception of a couple of people, but they were just uninvited. (Like stinky.)

Snorkmaiden piped up. "It's not your fault." She said softly, as she rubbed Assaf to circles into the other shoulder. Clearly showing her deep affection and care for him, even after everything. Just because he was lost in his own sexuality, it doesn't mean that he didn't love Snorkmaiden. He did, he just doesn't know what terms it was quite yet.

"I know, but it just hurts," Moomin said softly, Ellis light voice crack managing to peep through his tone. To which she was kind of upset for, but that could barely be compared to the pain he was experiencing right now.

He could feel the other side, before letting her hands laid down to take a grasp of a woman's hand. He only was flustered for maybe 5 seconds, before relaxing. And wrapping his paw around her paw. As they walked over to the Mymble on the other side of the room.

"Mymble..?" Moomintroll said softly, to which Mymble looked at him and smiled. "Yes? What is it Moomintroll?" She said so softly like sugar.

"I was wondering if you could stand next to me during the final part, I need someone's hand to hold asides from Snorkmaidens." Mymble's face seemed to light up softly as she softly rubbed his face. "Of course I will, I can be your Mymblemamma hand to hold."

Moomin smiled in appreciation, before falling silent. Today he hadn't brought the Hat, he left it at the house. Instead, he had the orange feather that was attached to it clipped to his suit. He would obviously put it back in the house. Once the whole ceremony was over.

"Moomin, I hope you know that we love you... and that these last couple of years have been rough with everyone coming and going.." Snorkmaiden set with such a gentle taste in her voice. It was like she was lemon sugar cookies, sweet yet sour. Managing to get a worked up Moomin all the way down to Tranquility right again. As if he almost completely forgot about it

"Oh, and one more thing Moomin." 

Moomintroll turned around to look at the Elder Mymble again, before nodding and listening to her. "Yes?"

"Joxter and I have been doing some serious debating, and thinking of. And we have finally decided, that within this month, we might move to MoominValley and settle down there." Moomin seemed to be happy about this news. In case you were ever said, he no longer had to wait until phone calls were okay. You could simply just walk over to her house and everything was fine.

As of recent, he thought of her as his mother and now considering that his actual mother was gone. He had no reason to believe that she wasn't his mother. Or, at least, that's the comforting title that she put on herself. To help the Moomintroll through his life issues.

"You are always welcome to rest in Moominvalley, and all of your family too.  I bet the wide landscape would be perfect for your kids to play in." He said softly, smiling up at Mymble.  She was happy that he didn't completely reject her from the alley that was home to so many memories.  

"Thank you Moomintroll, I knew you would be very kind to me and my husband." She patted him one final time before the Mymbles daughter had come in with a cup of tea. She handed it to her she took a long sip. She quietly greeted Moomintroll, as he waved back.

Moomintroll softly looked at Mymble to ask one final question to her. "Why do you want to stay in Moominvalley, It has to be more than just space."

Mymble softly chuckled, then grasped Moomins paw, by now, Snorkmaiden and Moomin had let go (she was still oh-so silent). "See... its also because I know you are going to be very lonely.  All of your family is gone... so even though we aren't biologically family, I still consider you my son and I still care about you, Moomintroll." She had a voice as soft as vanilla pudding, the warm kind. Which managed to soothe its way into Moomins fur and flesh, making him calm. 

He let a single tear drip down his face, and he looked up to face the Mymble, blue meeting green. "I really do care about you Moomin, I know you aren't going to be alone during this, and Joxter is just as sad from Moominpapas death.  He's been practically clinging to the Muddler recently, they're in the other room cuddling probably." She softly said. "So, don't think that your parent's death is just affecting you. Everyone is grieving."

Moomin said really softly "But some of them don't cry, so how do I know they're sad?"

Mymble grasped both of his paws, and she gave a soft look. "Some trolls don't show sadness from tears, It can be shown in any way.  Either they smile, cry, cuddle or isolate themself. Or bottle or in or let it all out, it's their way of expressing how they feel."

There was a soft silence, but it was just right. "That makes sense, like how Joxter is being secluded and cuddly?"

"Exactly." Mymble nodded, before letting go of one of the paws to pick up her cup to sip her coffee.  Moomintroll let go of the other hand to look down.

Even though she said it was okay to cry, he would wait until he got home.

 

 

And the rest of that day went normal, at least for a funeral. Many tears were shed, including Moomin, especially Moomin. They all parted ways, and Moomin went home to his now alone house. At least, he would be alone if it weren't for Snorkmaiden keeping him company. The angel had the audacity to keep treating him with respect even after everything. She was so kind.

Even when Moomin was sitting in this bed, with his eyes wide open as the room was dark, in the wind rustled through the window. He knew that from this moment on, everything would change. Or at least, from what he knew, a lot of different things would change. Making things different around in Moomin Valley.

And especially, these cold lonely nights where he couldn't sleep, he held the hat tight in his hands. Remembering his long lost friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> augh oof im sorry this chapter probably sucks i swear it will pick up next chapter.  
> anyway scream about my fic at @itsfreesha on tumblr.


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